The Soldier's Last Bivouac

By Lt. Col. Lawrence Applebaum, U.S. Army, retired

General. Benjamin Franklin, in 1789, is quoted as having said: “Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

For Soldiers, the last bivouac depends on what you personally believe; but to get there with the least amount of anguish and discomfort for those who will be involved with a Soldier’s last journey requires some good planning and precise execution of the plan.

The Plan. The essential elements of the plan include selecting the funeral home and the cemetery, the type of burial (cremains or full body), the type of funeral (full or just interment of the urn or casket), possibly military participation and the reception following the funeral.

The Decision. The decision concerning the type of journey to the last bivouac is truly a family affair. For some families, discussing death and the follow-on actions can be very difficult, but it will be significantly easier for the survivors if the Soldier’s and family’s concepts for the last journey are discussed and notes placed in the total estate plan, which includes nearterm required actions and those that will be taken at various times in the future.

Funeral Home and Cemetery. Select a funeral home and the cemetery. If the cemetery is local, most will select a funeral home in the same community or a nearby community. Even though the death of the Soldier is not imminent, it makes sense to establish contact with the desired funeral home, discuss the details of the funeral and have the funeral home establish a file for future use. I have done this for my wife and me.

My friend Bob did just that for his wife, who passed before him. When he recognized that his end was nearing, he did the same thing for himself and wrote some notes for me as his trusted agent. I knew exactly what he wanted and I was able to advise the funeral home accordingly during my visit with them. I can’t over emphasize the importance of documenting the final wishes of the Soldier and their family.

Although the focus of this article is on interment in the community where the Soldier had their residence there are other alternatives. These alternatives include, but are not limited to, burial at Arlington

National Cemetery, a state military cemetery, a public cemetery, etc.

The Grave. If the decision is made to use a marked grave (the alternative is to be buried anonymously), a gravestone and accompanying engraving must be arranged. If a columbarium or tree grave is used, only the markings on the niche or grave cover need to be arranged.

Many funeral homes can provide recommendations as to a company that can provide the gravestone with engraving or raised lettering. The funeral home can also offer advice on grave maintenance at public cemeteries. There are cemetery gardeners who offer grave maintenance programs. Some families opt to take care of the grave themselves. If you do opt for grave maintenance, you generally pay up front for the service.

Depending on the country where the cemetery is located, the community may have a statute that covers the minimum resting period and length of time the grave can be used. This is the case in Germany where I reside. The family pays for this up front. Generally, if grave maintenance is selected, the time period usually corresponds to length of time the grave can be used. If, at the end of the period of grave rental, an extension is not made, the grave will be abandoned and prepared for future use. This policy varies from community to community.

The Funeral. The type of funeral is also a family decision. While the deceased Soldier is the principal participant, what transpires during the funeral is only for the family and the other mourners. Deciding on the extent of the funeral up front before the Soldier dies and concurrently documenting what is to be done will make the actual funeral much easier and less stressful.

If the decision is for a traditional funeral with military honors, it is important to make this information known to the military community that would provide the honor guard, bugler and flag. The military community strives to meet this requirement. I organized a military funeral for a Retired Soldier some years ago and the service was done jointly, in German by the priest and in English by the military chaplain. It was very nicely done.

Many families opt for recorded music during the funeral and select the songs to be used, vocals, or just music. I attended the funeral for the wife of a German friend and three songs were used. One was a beautiful solo by a woman who I assumed was a professional singer. Afterward, I learned it was live and it was his daughter who sang.

In Germany, some families use a funeral speaker instead of a minister or priest. The funeral speaker leads the funeral service, but it is not necessarily a religious service, although it can be. I have been to funerals where several mourners provided a eulogy. The mourners knew the deceased Soldier quite well and offered the family what turned out to be an excellent celebration of life.

The Interment. The interment is the placing of the remains in the final resting place. This is usually part of the funeral; however, some families opt to do it with just the immediate family in attendance. Some families opt not to have a funeral. Rather, their desire is just to meet at the cemetery and walk behind the remains

(urn or casket) that are carried or wheeled to the final resting place by cemetery personnel and interred.

Last year, I participated in an interment ceremony for my friend Bob. We met outside the cemetery chapel.

The representative from the funeral home opened the ceremony with a very short introduction and I did the eulogy. After the eulogy, we walked to the gravesite. The mourners, to include two cemetery personnel, numbered just 10 people. But this simple ceremony is exactly what Bob told me he wanted.

Communal Meal - Reception. This reception, usually coffee and cake, can be a part of the total funeral.

I have been to funerals where the family offered more than just coffee and cake. A family will offer a communal meal and reception for a number of reasons. Some immediate families of the deceased want to meet with other family members and friends in a very relaxed atmosphere where more personal contact is possible and memories can be easily shared.

Every reception that I have attended was a very positive experience. You hear funny stories about the deceased person that you cannot help but smile and laugh about.

Telling stories and anecdotes serves to refresh positive memories of the deceased person. This light atmosphere helps the mourning family get through the sad day with positive vibes that help ease the tension brought on by death and interment.

Summary. The type of journey to the last bivouac is a family decision, because the journey is primarily for the family. Document what is desired and inform all concerned to include setting up a file at the funeral home that has been selected.